yes...another update

This will be short. I am dilated to a 3 or 4, about 70% effaced. Midwife thinks the only thing holding off labor is the baby needs to tuck its head to move further down. Stubborn thing!! So we plan on induction Wednesday morning should I not go on my own by then. I'm very nervous. Of course I don't want drugs and I'm afraid of the intensity of "fake" contractions, but I'm also scared of things not progressing enough for the baby to drop and I end up w/ a c-section. Drugs I can handle, but I'm so against a C. But as long as we are both kept safe and healthy then that is all that matters.

So for now-we wait. I'm done w/ squats, tea, and all the other stuff to induce labor. My baby will come and I can't wait to hold it!

Great appointment today!!!

Sick of the updates yet? ;-) I am very excited about this one. My midwife is back from vacation and I feel so ready to go.

AT every appt. the last few weeks they have talked about induction. I am game, but for selfish reasons, but not game at all cause there really isn't anything good about induction in my opinion. Well, come to find out my midwife is even more against induction than me! She said it is overused and we won't until it is a must-which would be sometimes next week. She did talk about things we would try before we went right to pitocin and also we could "jump-start" me on the PIT and take me off to see if I just roll from there, too.

Then out came my birth plan. I am a very "all natural" person (when it comes to birth) and I get nervous talking about my desires for my birth for fear of others thinking I'm a little "off". Like if I had a neonatal unit outside my front door I'd so have a home birth. Well, she was very excited about my birth plan and even said "good for you!" on some things I wanted. She had no qualms about anything and even gave me 3 things to add-one of which was having skin-to-skin contact for 60 minutes post birth. I had no clue they could do the APGAR testing while I held my baby to my chest! I get chills at the thought of that possibility! She also said to make sure I really push them not asking me for drugs which was something that really annoyed me when I gave birth to Laila. I am still trying to keep an open mind that these things may not play out for me, but I sure hope they do.

After some pointer son squatting when possible, she sent me on my way w/ "instructions" to go into labor on Sunday! I'm game, do you hear that baby??? ;-)

Another update

I had another U/S today-all was great. Baby measured 7 pounds 7 ounce-only 2 ounces up from last week so I'm hoping it stays that way a bit. W/ Laila only being 6 lbs 3 oz, a whole pound bigger makes me a bit nervous or as Curt said "ouch" ;-) The baby should have some pretty chubby cheeks cause every time we get a glimpse they are so cute and fat! It was laying w/ its hand up by its face today.

I'm dilated to 3 and lots of stuff is going on w/ me so I'm hoping it all means ""SOOON"". My midwife will be back on call at about 6 am tomorrow so I hope I hold out until then! My BP was up kinda high, but they aren't too worried unless I get dizzy spells or headaches.

I am doing better. I have good days and then am hit w/ a bad day. I've had contractions off and on since last Saturday w/ this past Saturday being some painful ones for about an hour. Needless to say I woke up Sunday tired and crabby and plain fed up w/ the pains and not holding my baby when they're done. But then I got a nice break Sunday night and slept all night w/o waking up w/ anything. I've had maybe a scattered few "easy" ones since, but today I'm feeling some stuff for sure. I'm not reading into anything though any more!! I know the joy of holding my baby is just around the corner so I'm not as hurry up so much as I was before. So I will end this post w/ a list of things I will miss once this pregnancy is over.

38 weeks

****Things I will miss after being pregnant****

1. The rolls, kicks, jabs and anything else this baby does in my belly

2. Hearing the heartbeat

3. Feeling so beautiful every time I look at my belly

4. Rubbing my belly

5. Having the baby "all to myself"

6. Guessing the gender

7. Curt touching my belly (off limits for a while after babe!)

8. Bumping into stuff w/ my belly and smiling cause I "forgot"

9. Having Laila so involved in my belly and the baby inside-including all her kisses, talks and hugs to the baby

10. Being pregnant for the very last time

36 week doc appt-BIG dissapointment

I had an NST (non-stress test) and U/S today. I got a sitter for Laila cause last weeks NST was over an hour and it's just too much on us both. Curt couldn't make it. So I am 36 weeks and 3 days. I go in for my U/S, get there early and they take my right in. She looks, everything is good, sends me down to the waiting room for my NST. WTF!!! I can't see my baby? It's not like you're running behind. I know-I should have said something, but I just couldn't believe it. How hard is it to turn the screen for 10 seconds.

SO then I go for my NST. At 36 weeks exactly w/ Laila I was dilated to 2 and about 15-20% effaced. I was NOTHING!! No dilation-nothing. Closed up tight. I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I'd be, but still. My midwife is on vaca until the 21st so maybe I'll hold out until then.

He also mentioned induction. I am heterozygous MTHFR (yes-even the docs pronounce it the way it looks ;-) which is a blood clotting issue. But being I'm only hetero-not homo (2 mutations) it is not supposed to be an issue w/ anything as in terms of the m/c's or even this pregnancy. I am still on my blood thinner injections, but those were only for precautionary measures anyway. I was all game for induction, but I had done some research on it yesterday and I'm not too thrilled w/ the idea unless it is really medically necessary. We'll see once my midwife returns. Maybe I won't even make it to 39 weeks when they said they'd look into inducing.

I also looked into getting the baby tested for FX. My sis had heard about getting tested too soon after birth can cause false positives or negatives. I contacted a geneticist and she said we can test the cord blood and they also asked if I'd be willing to donate some of the cord for genetic testing. SO I will. It's freaky to begin thinking about all that. I'm one day closer to holding my miracle but also one day closer to testing my poor baby. I am still not sure what we will do. I need to see if our insurance covers the cord blood testing and if it doesn't I need to look deeper into the false results. I also feel like it is not a main priority right now. The tests will always be there so I'm just going w/ the flow on that and enjoying my last few weeks.

But for now-here is my basketball-I mean, belly shot for 36 weeks-Curt had me laughing because he could hardly take the pic because he could not believe my belly. He's says "that's not right" everytime he sees it. Umm..thanks. MEN!

falling in love....

I can't believe how much I've already fallen in love with my baby. It is starting to really hit me that I am going to bring a baby home in the next month or so. And just how much we suffered, cried, stressed and prayed to be able to do this "just one more time" and God has graced us w/ the opportunity.

I cannot wait to have this baby placed right into my arms and for me to feel his/her little body and kiss him/her all over. I can't wait to count the toes and see who s/he looks like most and just be in bliss. I am so excited to see Laila become a big sister and have this adventure as a family of 4 (plus two dogs). I already feel so complete and the baby isn't even here.

Curt probably thinks I'm crazy but I am looking forward to those middle of the night feedings where the rest of the world is quiet and it's just me and my baby bonding and learning about each other. This time around is a little different cause I know the end result. We seem to be more prepared for "baby stuff"--maybe not baby stuff w/ a toddler , but at least the baby stuff ;-) Plus Curt and I are closer than we've ever been before. We have an understanding (most times) that we've never had w/ each other. I can't wait to see him become a new dad again. He is very stressed right now and I want to see him relax and holding the baby w/ Laila peering over his shoulder telling him he's not doing it right-lol

I feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world right now.

Laila's 3rd Birthday party pics

I can't believe my BABY is 3!!!! Or "feeeeee" as she says. The day was great-not too hot, but the pool kept us all nice and cool. She got great gifts that she loves and most of her favorite people were there to help her celebrate. Enjoy the pics of my little one

Helping to make the cake ********opening presents from mom & dad

I swear it was non-alcoholic!*********eating cupcakes w/ her "best friends"

opening presents w/ mom*******************"I'm this many"

Her pony cake*********************swimming w/ daddy

Hanging out in the pool w/ her new present

House pics!!

Some people wanted some updated pictures and I finally took them...okay, our house is finally coming along and I finally remembered to take pictures on a day that it was decently clean. Please excuse the half naked 3 year old you may see in the background of some....and I'll be posting some 3rd b-day pics too of her soon.