Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Sooo...it has been almost 2 months since our bid got accepted on this new house and we are going through our 3rd mortgage approval. It is beyond ridiculous. Basically, the appraiser f$%*ed us royally. He/she nit-picked right down to the heart w/ initials + initials +forever painting on ONE basement wall. He/she called it vandalism on the house. SO someone is going to come into the house, go all the way to the basement, inside the one room in the basement to write one heart shaped love note. Yeah, looks like a case of major vandalism to me. If this new place and appraiser does not work, then we are done. I hate to be "poor me" cause that is my biggest pet peeve w/ everyone else, but seriously POOR US!!!! It's like most everything we do takes a long hard road. And yet people around us who are seriously in much better shape than us, cry and moan and it's like..if you only knew! But we keep on trucking and somehow continue to make it on our own. Thank goodness for one of the smartest all around hubby's in the WORLD. Curt is beyond great. I have said it and will continue to say it-thank goodness he is charge of every last $5 that comes into this place. We have 15 days until we have to close. We should know in about 10 days if it will be a go ahead or not.

On a better note, baby is doing great. Kicking up a storm in the most uncomfy spots. I swear I did not feel kicks and rolls like this w/ Laila until well after 30 weeks. I'm only 22 and I feel like the baby is waving hello out my rear. My sis wanted to feel the baby the other day and I told her flat out to stick her hand up my booty and she would be sure to feel it. I was serious, but thank goodness she wasn't that interested in feeling him/her-lol. I got another reality check. My appointment got cancelled cause my midwife had a delivery. It hit me that THAT WILL BE ME ONE DAY!!!!! This is really happening, I'm having a baby. But yet I still have to add on to the end...hopefully if all continues to go well. I have to keep myself grounded.

I also had a long and good talk w/ Curt about the whole fragile X thing. He is scared to death over it and I"m scared to death over him beings scared to death. I frankly told him to get over it and there is nothing we can do. He agreed. We discussed when we will get the baby tested, and some of our plan of action before and after. I want to focus solely on the baby and our life as parents and Laila as a sister and not have FX as the forefront of our thoughts. This is our last baby and we've had a rough road to get here so we HAVE to enjoy what we can and everything will fall into place. It and we have no choice for it not to.

And, OMG. Ms. Laila has turned into terrible 3's. Just when I thought she was getting better, wham she hits me w/ a total non-listening streak. But she's still so damn cute thank Heavens!:-)
She's big on "playing house". She'll make her ponies and dinosaurs talk and do stuff...like "poop in the bathtub". Which cracks me up cause she is not one to poop in the bathtub so I'm not sure where she gets it from. Or she'll come racing down the hall yelling that shark tooth (land Before Time) is chasing her.

And for your oogling eyes, a 20 week belly shot

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Ultrasound today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freaking AMAZING!!!!!! I am on cloud infinity right now. Laila was asleep the whole time through hers so I ate sweets and drank coffee before this one. It was moving a little too much the tech said--oh, well!

It was hanging out with it's arms up by its head. At one point it shook its head at us. It was also sitting indian style. It was all over the place and we got some great pictures. Laila got her very own again so she loved that.

I will post the pictures below, but they aren't very good. As soon as I can scan them, I'll re-post better ones.

How unbelievable. I am still in shock that I am at this point.

Profile view-face at left Full face view

hands at left and feet at right

Monday, April 7, 2008

Great article

This article has summed up so many feelings and emotions for me. It is hard to suffer a miscarriage, or 4 for that matter, when you have a child. Not saying that it's easier when you don't have one, but already having one brings on a whole new slew of comments and advice and I believe pain cause I know EXACTLY what I'm missing out on. I know when April, November, February or the next due date I've yet to hit in June comes, what I am missing out on by not bringing that baby home, or washing the tiny clothes to get them ready, or make Laila the big sister she so deserves to be. Even pregnant and things going well does not for one day make me forget my angel babies. I am definitely more at peace w/ knowing they are watching over us all in heaven and maybe had a little or even a lot to do with this miracle kicking inside me right now. But my babies-all 6 of them- are forever on my mind and soooo deep in my heart-no matter what order they blessed me in. And for the record, it is not "okay" that "at least I already have one". Or those 4 angel babies were not "meant to be lost".