Thursday, February 26, 2009

This boy will be 5 foot tall in kindergarten

I just know it. He is only a half a pound and an inch smaller than Laila was at one year and 12 days. He was one day shy of 6 months w/ these measurements! He's 27 3/4 inches and 18.8 pounds. Dropped a little in his weight curve, but Dr. R tends to see that around 6 months. I was told to try to get him to nurse longer, but when he's done, he's done. My supply is too great and fast for him to hang out w/ drips. So, hopefully he picks up great on the food. He loves carrots and so did Laila. Not too fond of green beans though and neither was his cousin Hayden. Liked the pears okay. I can't get him to eat his cereal in the morning though. Clamps his mouth shut, with his lower lipped tucked in and just grunts at me. He's sitting up really good unsupported which doc said was a 9 month thing. I never knew that. I wouldn't sit him and walk away, but he can sit for a few minutes or longer on his own if he tries hard enough. And I know he's not saying mama, but when he gets upset it so sounds like it and I love it!

As for little Miss Laila, she's great. I am being such a bad mom to her though. I am so crabby lately. I really need to work on having more patience and time for her. She's becoming such a little girl. She told me milk comes form a cow. You squeeze it's butt and it comes out in a bucket! Everything in that area is a butt to her. I'm surprised she didn't argue w/ the pre-school teacher saying milk comes from a boob cause she's informed me that "Evan is heavy cause he's too much out your boob". Nice. She is so good w/ her manners and will scrape her plate off and put it in the sink after dinner most nights. And we used to let her fall asleep to a movie in her room, but I retrained her to fall asleep on her own after books. She does really well with it and even headed off to bed one night on her own after telling Curt she was tired! I think the time together reading, singing and praying is great for her.

As for me, I'm all messed up. I am so crabby and sometimes feel like I'm about to literally blow. I dropped Laila off at pre-school a few weeks ago and came back and sat on the couch just looking around for something to snap about. I feel all shaky sometimes too. I was chatting w/ a mom form my church about this and she mentioned looking into post-partum depression. I couldn't believe that it would kick in at 6 months, but she said that's when hers did. So I am scraping my feet about calling the doctor. I just feel weird about it all. I know it's "normal", but I don't want to be one of the moms w/ those "issues". Not that I think it's issues, but it's a bit embarrassing to admit. We'll see what happens. I'm trying to get myself back on track first. Plus w/ nursing, I'm not sure what/if anything would be okay to take. It doesn't help that Curt and I are not on the best of terms. I started realizing that it was always me pulling us out of our slumps or getting us to go out. We went out last Friday and it took me a good half an hour to get him to really start to have fun. It's tiring to be the only one trying to cheer up the family. I know he does a LOT for us, but it's not like I sit at home w/ my bon bons, watch soap opera's and bark orders at the nanny and maid. And on top of that he knows how much I appreciate what he does and how much I support him in EVERYthing he does. SO far as threatening divorce should he decide to sell his "66 chevy project trucks he's been working on for the last 4 years. It's his dream and I won't let him begin to not think so. On top of that I am also feeling envious. He gets time off. Yes, he's busy, but he does get those hours where he can sit in front of the TV and watch his shows or lallygag on the computer. Laila will go right past Curt in the kitchen to come ask me for a drink if I'm doing that stuff. Or the fact that I've only "slept" 8 hours straight w/o getting up (I've been woken up) maybe twice in the last 6 months, or heck, probably the last year since being pregnant! And every time we go out, I either pay for my own night or I pick up kids who haven't eaten all night or are throwing up. I think..Did I really get a night out or was that a dream???

I guess it's all part of being a mom. I most days take it w/ a grain of salt, but not so much lately.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hello everyone! I imagine everyone is as sick of winter as I am. At least Curt's over-time as slowed down a little for the sake of all our sanity.

As I stated in January, we got Evan tested for fragile X and the results are in............................


He's not a carrier either. We were very emotional about hearing the news. Not that we would not love him no matter what, but we are just extra blessed. Every child is a true miracle, but I feel that both of our kids have a little extra miracle dust in them. Everything was easy w/ Laila. We got pregnant right away, no complications. Then to get hit w/ four miscarriages, we began to really think that she was a miracle beyond miracles. What made her so special in God's eyes to have her "work". Then we get surprised w/ Evan's pregnancy, scared to death of what will lie ahead. Then we get the fragile X diagnosis that I'm a carrier. At that point we knew, no matter what, that God wanted him here. Had we not been as fertile as we are, and not gotten pregnant, we would have stopped w/ just Laila after having that diagnosis. God wanted him here and to bless us extra w/o having to embrace a FX diagnosis is remarkable. I prayed my thanks to God the day we got the news and I had the hardest time ending the pray w/ a simple amen. Let alone ending it at all. How do you stop saying thank you, when your blessings are out of this world? The word "thank you" seems so petty w/ this. The dryer can break, the taxes can go up, but what is most important in our lives in side our four walls is here. A healthy and happy family.

And speaking of... here is my healthy and happy, family. I think one pic may be a video of sledding?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Evan's allergy results are in....

NEGATIVE for EVERYTHING?!?!?!?! How on earth is that possible? I posted on my "dairy-free moms" message board and some think the tests aren't that accurate when they are so little. My theory is is he's growing out of it, cause he is at the age where some kids do, and we tested "too late". There's no way he became a whole new child 3 days after taking out dairy at 3 weeks old just by coincidence-no way. Lately, I have been sneaking a lot and he seems fine. Before when I'd sneak, he'd be affected, if even just a little. Now, I just hope I can still "pretend" that he is allergic cause I don't want that weight piling back on.

We'll see what the doc says when I go in next month for his 6 week check-up. And...Happy 5 month Birthday to my big boy!! And since Laila claimed it was her birthday too (feeling left out since mine was this weekend), Happy 3 years, 6 months and 21 day birthday to Laila!

My birthday night was soo fun. I am very mad at the mini stage though. We went out dancing and of course the mini-stage just had to have me dance on it. And they had to play PYT by Michael Jackson so I had to go all out to my boy MJ. I couldn't just dance normally w/ people watching either so I had to kick it up a notch. I have sore muscles where I did not even think muscles existed. But, it was all worth it! Laila and Curt made me a birthday card that Laila made me put in my purse to take out that night. It was very cute. Then Curt was getting crabby w/ me earlier in the day (okay-we were both crabby) and when he went to the garage I was complaining to Laila how "daddy needs to be nice to me since it's my birthday and he needs to get me a present". So I'm vacuuming a few minutes alter and Curt makes me stop and says "By orders from your daughter" and kissed me and hugged me. Laila had told him that "it's mommy's birthday and you have to be nice to her and give her a kiss and hug and we have to get her a present". I'm training her well ;-)

P.S. Thanks to all for the birthday wishes and who helped make it a fun night!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The BEST Birthday present EVER!!!!!

Yes-I'm going to brag and yes, it's my 28th birthday today. I stepped on the scale on Tuesday of this week and realized I lost almost 4 1/2 pounds since January 1st!! I've done NO exercising unless you count shoveling the driveway once (it is pretty long-13 cars comfortably) or dancing for 20 minutes w/ Laila. I stepped on it today-another pound gone! I am not one that fluctuates at all-day night-doesn't matter. I only fluctuate when I workout, then I gain. pants are baggy and my undies are beyond grandma looking. So I dare to go into the "skinny bin". Pulled out clothes I haven't seen since either before Laila was born, or w/in the year after before I hit my year of stress beyond stress. I am sitting here in my Beacon Elementary sweatshirt, nursing tank and you betcha-my skinny pink dress pants!!!!!!!!!! I haven't even brushed my teeth yet-eewww! I had a changing fest complete w/ modeling show for Curt. Of course he does not remember any of the clothes-lol. But I fit into my comfy khakis I haven't worn since BEFORE Laila was born and they were baggy!! Almost not appealing baggy! Also my pants I was wearing when we announced her pregnancy at 4 weeks pregnant (ahh-the crazy times of not being scared!) and the ones I could barely squeeze into one year post partum w/ her. they are still a squeeze, but hey-they work!

Yay yay yay! Happy birthday to me! So it does not matter that I still have to clean the house today while Curt cuddles w/ Evan on the couch. I got a pretty good B-day present anyway.

Bless you son for being allergic to dairy!!! Sorry I ever said you were still wrecking havoc on my body!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Where's the spoon?

Yes. I need to eat my salads w/ a spoon. Once upon a time when I had thick, creamy, dairy loaded salad dressing and mounds of dairy loaded cheese to help hold the lettuce and the chicken together, I could eat them w/ a fork. But now that they consist of lettuce, cucumbers and chicken w/ runny, oily, expensive dairy and soy free dressing, I spend most of dinner chasing around in my bowl that cucumber or that piece of chicken so I eat more than a piece of lettuce when I take a bite.

So, I will cave and the next time I eat a salad it will be w/ a spoon. And not a cereal spoon. One of those big ones you use for veggies at holiday dinners. The things parents do for their kids.

Curt will be so turned on to watch me eat my salads now ;-P

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I just want my kids sick free

This is terrible. Just as they both get over their one cold, they start another which has been much worse. Laila sounded like a dying seal, going through a whole box of tissues cause every little sniffle she's got to wipe. Then she begins to get a little better and Evan starts the dying seal cough. Laila informed him "Evan, you have the same cough as me!!!" He gets pissed at the cough though. Does that groan on that last cough like"I'm sick of this!!!" then draws out the groan for a good 10 seconds. Had Curt and I giggling the other morning at 4 am listening through the monitor. I'm sure he was thrilled we were laughing. We also decided to just sign our paycheck over to the doctor's office. I took Evan in for cold #1, a week later took Laila in for cold #2, then 2 days after that Evan had his 4 month check-up. Dr. R is super awesome and checked them both out for cold #2 at his appointment. Our bank account thanks you.

As for the check-up, holy moly big boy! 17 pounds!! I think he had to have been over 16 at the last visit and the nurse just rounded it. He's 26 1/4 inches and his height is average to a 6 1/2 month old!! Doing great, right on track w/ milestones except rolling over. 90% of our house is wood floors so he gets very little floor time. but I had him on the rug yesterday and he just about had it, trying super hard. That was rolling over back to front which Laila did not do till almost 6 months. I think this kid is more advanced than her in most things and she was pretty advanced. I did not get him allergy tested. I did not make it in time and now I'm waiting for him to be cold free. No need to torture him more than needed. I will be taking him next week and getting him tested for FX at the same time. But if anyone is reading this-I do not want to discuss it unless it's on my own terms please.

And I'd love to get some sleep for more than an hour or two. I have always done well on little sleep, but it being broken up so much is getting to me. I will stumble out of bed and sometimes have to stand their to get over my dizzy spell before I can venture to whichever kids room needs me. Between them both I am, no doubt, up at least 5-6 times in the night before 7 am rolls around. I do get to sleep in though. Even if Laila gets up at 7, which has been her new trend, I can fall back asleep until she informs me " it's time to get up cause it's morning time. I want dinner".

I happened to get in a big fight w/ my mom. My parents are getting a divorce after 33 years of marriage. they split in June 08. It's been very tough on them, especially my mom who did not want it. But it's been tough on my sis and I, too. Mom has a hard time weeding out the info that us kids should not/need not to hear. She likes to bring up stuff my dad did 20 years ago which drives me nuts. Plus she just plain doesn't listen. She tells me about something I said that hurt her, then won't listen when I explain either A-my reasons or B-how that was not what i said and she twisted it around. Curt and I kind of "argue" about what is tougher-parent's divorce as a child or an adult. As an adult even when things aren't told to you, you're old enough to figure them out. Plus as an adult you've been through your own trials so you know what hurting feels like; you may even know what a heartbreak feels like. Curt's heart has never been broke by a girl so maybe that's why we differ on opinion. I just want it to be over and both my parents to be happy.

Laila and I prayed last night. She thanked God for Jesus, mommy and tissues ;-)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year!!!!!!

It's been a while. Where do I start?

Christmas was wonderful. We had it at our house. Laila really got into it this year, fully understanding who and what Santa is. Santa got her this "cutsie mousie" she had been asking for all. the. time. Had it hidden to be opened way last. She opened it and said "what is it?". I just about died! You're kidding me?!?!? Then she says she figured it out it was a bunny!! When we explained it was the cutsie mousie she'd been begging for, she said "awww" and hugged it. Then said it wasn't the cutsie mousie cause its head was too big. Oh, well. It was still a fun filled day. She got to open Evan's presents for him and loved that he got her a gift too. Curt took her shopping to pick out my gift (2 nutcrackers) and his gift (a beanie baby panda). He said she pointed to them and there was no discussion-that's what we wanted. She had been super sweet, but the new Year nearing has brought back her sassiness. It was great while it lasted. I was totally informed by her that she hated me. I was hoping that wouldn't come until she at least hit double digits, but I sure didn't expect it before kindergarten. We made up now and I'm still her best friend ;-)

Evan is doing great. Had some shots and didn't even cry for the first one. Just crinkled his face a bit. The nurse and I both stared at him for a bit waiting for him to let it out. Cried for the second one (nurse warned it hurt a lot worst) but was smiling at the nurse seconds later. What a trooper. I am going tomorrow to get him allergy tested. I just want to know what it is I can't eat instead of playing this guessing game. Something still bugs him, just can't figure out what it is. He's growing like a weed being up to 16 pounds already. He's just about out of 3-6 month clothes. Giggling like crazy and overall a pretty happy baby. As soon as his cold goes away, we'll be back to normal.

I am still recovering from the stomach flu I had over the weekend. We went out to the bar w/ Curt's family and I had 1.5 drinks and was three sheets to the wind. Very pathetic. After his mom bought me a $3 plate of crackers, his aunt and uncle walked me back to his cousins house where I got sick..3 times. Nice. I think I am officially initiated in. The next day I ended up w/ the flu and so did a few other people so I can handle a drink or two, just not when I'm about to get sick. And let me tell you. Breastfeeding w/ the stomach flu is not very fun at all. I was proud though. he got no bottles which he can't stand anyway and only once did I need to interrupt a feeding. Laila was pretty sweet and would bring me blankets and give me kisses on any part of my body that happened to be poking out form either blanket or whatever comfy position I had found to lay in. Then, so gross, but once while I was getting sick she told Curt she had to go in there and help me and he said that i was okay and all and she said no "mommy keeps saying 'help'". I am not quiet by any means.

I am also ready to get going on my toning up. I lost 6 more pound sin the last 2 months. Now I just need to tone. I am only a few pounds away from Laila's pre-pregnancy weight. Very happy. I've come to realize that my weight gain had to have mostly been the stress that 2007 brought on and all the pregnancies. Now being stress free, or at least bad-stress free I am feeling/looking normal again.

But oh my gosh..the emotions have been running high. I was a blubbering mess Christmas morning just kissing and crying all over Evan thinking how wonderful it is that we are having another baby's first Christmas. We'd hoped, and maybe deep down knew, but it still seemed so far out of our reach. I mean, my MIL gets me boy scrapbooking stickers and I choke up. I am just super happy w/ our life inside our 4 little walls. How blessed. I know I say it a lot, but I truly am happy w/ my life and I really don't think I could ask for anything more.

Hope everyone has a blessed 2009!!!!