Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Need to vent

I know to some this is sooo petty, but it bugs the heckers out of me. I am so SICK of people downplaying my birth. I was at an event last night and we were chatting about our birth stories and all. And, for like the 100th time, I was told "well if I had a 4 hour labor like yours I'd probably want to watch the head come out". Along w/ "I don't know why I bothered w/ an epidural since I felt it all anyway". Umm...if you've never had a birth w/o an epidural, how the f**k do you know what it feels like? And if you never dilated past 3, how the hell do you know what labor dilated to a 5 feels like, let alone pushing for that matter. For the record, most women who get drugs, get them around dilation between a 3 and a 5 (not all people-calm down, but most) so even had you endured many hours prior to that, you still don't know what dilation of 10 and pushing feels like drug free-no matter how quick. I go into my labors at the point where many/most women can't handle them and get drugs, and I endure it all the rest of the way. There is no comparison in my book. I certainly would never say "I know how you feel" to someone who was induced, went many hours drug free. No way. I'd sure pat them on the back. That's why they call dilation of 4 and higher active labor. That's when the real sh!t begins people-don't knock it till you try it drug free. I work hard to go all natural. And, for the record again, I was asked about 5 times during Laila's birth if I wanted drugs and I told them no every time. So no, it was not too quick and I didn't have time. I didn't want them. And I went drug free for my baby and myself-not to prove anything since that didn't happen anyway. I have no clue, or maybe a small clue, of what it feels like to spend many hours drug free, but I sure know that dilation of a 4 is much more manageable than an 8 and so on, and pushing a 6 pounder out is MUCH much less painful than an 8 pounder. So shut-up. I'm sick of it. You worked hard, I worked hard. Our end result was a beautiful baby.

Okay. I'm done. I'm not sure if I feel better or not. I swear to myself the next time I get that line I will say something, but I never do. I just hide it here. Sheesh, you'd never guessed I could do labor completely drug free. Oh, that's right. It was only a few hours of nothing.


Anonymous said...

i know i get ya. matty was 100% drug free and my baby girl would have been if she hadn't gotten stuck and put back in...twice. My mother (i'm adopted and she has never given birth) loves to tell people that Matt was so easy for me to have and that I never went into hard labor. How does she know?? LIke you say...every experience is different, feels different, you name it. people should respect others birth stories for what they are.

Holly's Mom said...

I think people just like to share there birth stories... for example, I was in labor for 67 hours, but would never progress past 5 centimeter's though, you can see I was determined to try, by then I was exahusted and the Doctor said I needed a C-Section, so in the Epidural went.

It turns out Holly's Elbow was stuck over her head.. That said, I can;t imagine what it must feel like at 10 when you hit hard labor, or to push that 8lb baby out, even though recuvering from the c-section was a nightmare, I sometimes think I had it easy in compirison..

So while I share this, it is in no way to diminish the magic and hard work you had to do to have your baby, whether it was with or without drugs or for 4 hours or 50

I completely admire those who can do it without drugs, I know how much pain it was at 5 centimeter's and I was ready for the drugs then, I would have never made it all the way reguardless.

So next time someone tries to diminish your experience, just focus ont he positive, the presance of mind you had to enjoy the experience drug free and explain why your expeirence was special to you.