Yesterday I felt so sick-which is a good normal thing-lol. But I just have a lot on my mind. I am really stressing over the FX stuff. I got my #'s back. They look okay, but now I know more of our chance for having a child affected by this. The imagined road is just scary. I don't know whether to hold on to that 50% chance this baby doesn't have FX and think positive or try and sink it in so it isn't so hard when the time comes. Thinking positive is great for now, but bad in the long run. And thinking negative is bad for now, but probably better in the long run. I don't know which is best for me.
Plus this pregnancy is exciting to us regardless. I am overjoyed at finally being at this point. Yes, I still think in my head that it isn't guranteed good, but so far it is so I'm going w/ that. It is really hurtful when people can't be just overjoyed for us. It's like whoopey do to them. And yes, no one will EVER be as excited as we are-we walked (or crawled) the road we took so no one has that added emotion involved or at least the same amount. Plus, we're the baby's parents. It's just naturally more exciting for us-lol. I want to hear congrats, I want to hear how hopeful you are for us. Not "okay, so you're pregnant". SMACK. Yep, that's what I want to do. I so get that people are unsure if they should jump for joy or get down and pray hard, but at least say "I hope it goes well" or "Keep me posted". SO I've decided, I do not care (although I do). This is our time, our pregnancy and those who truly helped walk this road and prayed almost as hard, are the ones who were exstatic to know and are exstatic to hear about every little detail. My sister-in-law, Jessie, said she got chills to hear about it's little arms and legs. I almost cried!! That was so sweet and to know our excitement gave someone else chills like we get when we think of the life growing inside of us. Not to mention our parents and my sister's excitement over every moment. So, it is your loss in your lack of emotion on this. Not mine.
I'm done w/ my vent.