Thursday, February 26, 2009

This boy will be 5 foot tall in kindergarten

I just know it. He is only a half a pound and an inch smaller than Laila was at one year and 12 days. He was one day shy of 6 months w/ these measurements! He's 27 3/4 inches and 18.8 pounds. Dropped a little in his weight curve, but Dr. R tends to see that around 6 months. I was told to try to get him to nurse longer, but when he's done, he's done. My supply is too great and fast for him to hang out w/ drips. So, hopefully he picks up great on the food. He loves carrots and so did Laila. Not too fond of green beans though and neither was his cousin Hayden. Liked the pears okay. I can't get him to eat his cereal in the morning though. Clamps his mouth shut, with his lower lipped tucked in and just grunts at me. He's sitting up really good unsupported which doc said was a 9 month thing. I never knew that. I wouldn't sit him and walk away, but he can sit for a few minutes or longer on his own if he tries hard enough. And I know he's not saying mama, but when he gets upset it so sounds like it and I love it!

As for little Miss Laila, she's great. I am being such a bad mom to her though. I am so crabby lately. I really need to work on having more patience and time for her. She's becoming such a little girl. She told me milk comes form a cow. You squeeze it's butt and it comes out in a bucket! Everything in that area is a butt to her. I'm surprised she didn't argue w/ the pre-school teacher saying milk comes from a boob cause she's informed me that "Evan is heavy cause he's too much out your boob". Nice. She is so good w/ her manners and will scrape her plate off and put it in the sink after dinner most nights. And we used to let her fall asleep to a movie in her room, but I retrained her to fall asleep on her own after books. She does really well with it and even headed off to bed one night on her own after telling Curt she was tired! I think the time together reading, singing and praying is great for her.

As for me, I'm all messed up. I am so crabby and sometimes feel like I'm about to literally blow. I dropped Laila off at pre-school a few weeks ago and came back and sat on the couch just looking around for something to snap about. I feel all shaky sometimes too. I was chatting w/ a mom form my church about this and she mentioned looking into post-partum depression. I couldn't believe that it would kick in at 6 months, but she said that's when hers did. So I am scraping my feet about calling the doctor. I just feel weird about it all. I know it's "normal", but I don't want to be one of the moms w/ those "issues". Not that I think it's issues, but it's a bit embarrassing to admit. We'll see what happens. I'm trying to get myself back on track first. Plus w/ nursing, I'm not sure what/if anything would be okay to take. It doesn't help that Curt and I are not on the best of terms. I started realizing that it was always me pulling us out of our slumps or getting us to go out. We went out last Friday and it took me a good half an hour to get him to really start to have fun. It's tiring to be the only one trying to cheer up the family. I know he does a LOT for us, but it's not like I sit at home w/ my bon bons, watch soap opera's and bark orders at the nanny and maid. And on top of that he knows how much I appreciate what he does and how much I support him in EVERYthing he does. SO far as threatening divorce should he decide to sell his "66 chevy project trucks he's been working on for the last 4 years. It's his dream and I won't let him begin to not think so. On top of that I am also feeling envious. He gets time off. Yes, he's busy, but he does get those hours where he can sit in front of the TV and watch his shows or lallygag on the computer. Laila will go right past Curt in the kitchen to come ask me for a drink if I'm doing that stuff. Or the fact that I've only "slept" 8 hours straight w/o getting up (I've been woken up) maybe twice in the last 6 months, or heck, probably the last year since being pregnant! And every time we go out, I either pay for my own night or I pick up kids who haven't eaten all night or are throwing up. I think..Did I really get a night out or was that a dream???

I guess it's all part of being a mom. I most days take it w/ a grain of salt, but not so much lately.

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