saw a specialist today

We are feeling good about our plan she set in motion for us. Of course, I wished she would have found some missing (fixable) link, but something is better than nothing. As our previous regular doctor said, this is most likely a HUGE round of bad luck and we will have another baby at some point. Many of the tests and possible problems don't seem to be our issue especially since we do have Laila. But having that second opinion helps. This new doctor is also game for doing a bunch more testing on the things that most likely won't be our problem, but a great stress reliever to rule them out. I'd rather know for sure not, than to always wonder that what-if. I liked that the doctor knew how we felt in the fact that a positive pregnancy test means nothing to us at this point. We've gotten too many to count. She also joked that she was glad she was across the room from Curt cause it seems like all I have to do is look at him and we get pregnant. Very true ;-)

Some of the tests include checking my hormones to make sure all is in line and then both our chromosomes (genetic testing) just to make sure. I will be on a couple extra drugs including some to make sure my ovulation is in perfect working order and then added hormonal supplements w/ heparin (blood thinner) injections-ouch! But I do good with needles so I'm game for anything. If it involved standing on my head, singing the hokey poky-complete w/ motions, while giving myself the shots then bring it!!

Curt and I are just taking a break from it all. No charting or analyzing anything. We will avoid getting pregnant for the next couple of months to get these tests done and to give our minds a break. We are so amazingly close right now it's great. I think Curt has finally gotten to the point where i am in the whole miscarriage hell. He's tired and frustrated and just beyond angry as much as me. He said he even hates to look at random pregnant women. Don't get me wrong, we are happy for any baby, but you reach a point where you long so much to have that and be at that point that it just stings to see someone else having that opportunity. Plus it's as if this consumes us so much so ANYTHING baby related reminds us of what we don't have. I am just so happy to have Laila cause I do have pregnancy stories and birth stories. I've been there and loved every second of it all. I couldn't' imagine life right now w/o having my own story to share or remember my big ole pregnant belly.

SO that's my update. Life is great. Laila is unbelievable. We ARE truly blessed.